Health Coach | Speaker | Writer | Welcome to my digital diary! I'm here to help you blend life & fitness to find your health & happy! Thank you for being part of my family & allowing me to add value to your journey!
Remember when your mom & dad used to say, “You’ll understand when you get older.”?
Well, I’m almost 40 & just when I think I have everything figured out I realize I still don’t understand a fuggn thing. 😂
The difference — I’ve learned to embrace & fall in love with my journey.
Learn from the lessons of your past.
Self awareness is a super power.
Had a fun podcast with Dan Rosada & @bigfatlifepodcast today! That will drop next Wednesday, I will post all the links! 🤘🏻
We talked about building our foundations 1st.
Most people wanna over complicate things or they just want people to tell them what to do without educating themselves or understanding how their bodies work, their emotional ties & relationship with food, how they respond to food, exercise, stress, etc.
I put it like this, you don’t tell builders to go ahead & put the walls & roof up on a house without building a foundation, right? Because it won’t work will it? Everything will come crumbling down.
I chatted with a friend today about age. How we don’t really understand why people fear getting older.
I don’t know about y’all but my 20’s & early 30’s were a train wreck. As I’ve aged, I started to wake up & realize I had been livin for everybody else but me. I disappointed myself with comparison & expectations instead of falling in love with the process & journey.
I ignored addictions to things like sugar & carbs, excessive alcohol/caffeine, men, negative self talk, seeking to change my body to make myself feel better rather than changing my mindset & relationship with self.
Now is the time to build your foundation & fall in love with YOUR journey! 🌈
@russell_me22 & I danced our a$$es off. I had over 27,000 steps yesterday.
I have no voice today & my legs are sore af. Got in an easy mile walk this mornin to wake up. I get to work this weekend, it’s gonna be a long two 12-hour shifts 💀🏥 😆
My God I missed concerts.
Talk about soul food. And I ain’t talking about my crispy airfryer meat bars (which I’m gonna smash later.)
Your Saturday reminder to do whatever the hxll you wanna do that lights you up. Be whoever you wanna be.
You also have permission to change your mind. Too many people think they have to live by the rules or they can’t change their minds if things aren’t workin out whether it’s a job or food or workout or relationship.
Learn to roll with life. Roll with JOY & SURRENDER. (My words for this year)
This is for the human who falls in love. With others, but struggles to love themselves.
This is for the human who never feels good enough no matter what the scale reads or weight is on your barbell.
This is for the human who selflessly gives everything to everyone else but themselves.
This is for the human whose heart & intelligence run deep but still fails to see their own beauty.
This is for the human who doesn’t know what it feels like to feel alive & energized & not worry about food or what others think of them.
This is for the human who is 100% real & refuses to be anything other than themselves.
If you do ☝🏻 thing today, love yourself a little bit more💕
My mom told me, “Stop living your life through your phone.” Ooof like a punch in the gut. I knew she was right. (Dxmnit she always is 😆)
I love social media for connection, education, & inspiration. I wouldn’t have a wonderful digital family like y’all without it.
But I knew I needed to set boundaries & clear toxicity around it.
So I detoxed social media accounts. Unfollowed accounts I no longer align with.
I deactivated Facebook for a while, I now only use it for events, clients, & family.
I wrote these words this morning, let this be thought provoking, a conversation starter, & your inspiration for the week. Feel free to tag & share on instagram HERE
Be so in love with your life that watching another person love theirs makes your heart happy, not sad, jealous, or angry.
Be so confident you’re exactly where you’re meant to be, no black cloud of FOMO can swallow you, dim your light, question your worth, significance, or timeline.
Be so obsessed with nurturing your own gifts, abilities, & desires you don’t have time or energy to criticize others because your fulfillment, impact, & journey are more important.
Be the captain of your life. Determine what values matter to you, what life experiences you want, what relationships you want, what body you want, what career you want, the person you want to embody — let those things be your map.
Stop letting other people’s lives & living with expectations & control be your compass & your map.
There’s so much abundance & love out there. Focus on the positive feelings & outcomes you deserve. Everything you want is waiting for you to receive when you learn to fall in love with your life right now, & NOW is all that matters.
You’re exactly where you’re meant to be🤍
I’d love to hear your thoughts & Sunday reflections! Leave’em in comments!👇🏻
NO.1 REGRET OF THE DYING: “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.”
I had a terminal patient tell me this years back as I finished their CT scan.
@aubreymarcus posted a powerful reminder yesterday, a perfect reminder as we start another week:
“Your future self will look back on your life right now, & wish you could live it again. Not because you want to DO anything different. But because you wish you enjoyed it more.
The number 1 deathbed regret is, “I wish I would’ve let myself be happier.” At the end of our life we realize that happiness is a choice, made in the moment, in spite of whatever is happening.”
☝🏻If I could share only 1 life lesson with you, it would be this.
MANAGE YOUR MIND AND YOU CAN MANAGE ANYTHING.
We get lost in a storm of emotions & expectations — from others, from ourselves, from society.
Emotions around your body, career, & relationships. Some like:
BODY: I need to look like her/him to be more attractive & worthy. When in fact you need to love yourself & body for everything you are, not what you aren’t.
CAREER: I’m not “rich” or successful until I have x in the bank or achieved a certain status. When in fact you’re already rich if you have a career you love, a roof over your head, food to eat, & people who love you.
RELATIONSHIPS: I need a partner to be worthy. Which typically nudges us to settle for people not deserving, or seeking people for purely physical reasons. We blind ourselves to the real secret to finding a partner in life…being self aware, knowing your worth & theirs, learning to build a home in yourself 1st, & embodying the person you seek to be with. The ‘right’ one feels like freedom & home.❤️⠀
There will always be shxt that comes up & temporarily throws your life out of your control, but you choose your perspective & reaction.
When you’re working, work.
When you’re eating, eat.
When you’re listening, listen.
When you’re loving, LOVE.
We’re always living. But the question is, are you living YOUR best life?
As the sun sets in Steve Job’s Life, he gave the world one last gift. “The World’s six best Doctors” – by Steve Jobs.
As I walked in the sun yesterday, enjoying the warmth on my face, I reread this essay. I let the words that resonated with me sink in….
ox Enjoy!
This is his final essay:
I reached the pinnacle of success in the business world. In some others’ eyes, my life is the epitome of success. However, aside from work, I have little joy. In the end, my wealth is only a fact of life that I am accustomed to. At this moment, lying on my bed and recalling my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth that I took so much pride in have paled and become meaningless in the face of my death.
You can employ someone to drive the car for you, make money for you but you cannot have someone bear your sickness for you. Material things lost can be found or replaced. But there is one thing that can never be found when it’s lost – Life.
Whichever stage in life you are in right now, with time, you will face the day when the curtain comes down. Treasure love for your family, love for your spouse, love for your friends.
Treat yourself well and cherish others.
As we grow older, and hopefully wiser, we realize that a $300 or a $30 watch both tell the same time. You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from the material things of this world. Whether you fly first class or economy, if the plane goes down – you go down with it.
Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have mates, buddies and old friends, brothers and sisters, who you chat with, laugh with, talk with, sing songs with, talk about north-south-east-west or heaven and earth, that is true happiness!
Don’t educate your children to be rich. Educate them to be happy. So when they grow up they will know the value of things and not the price.
Eat your food as your medicine, otherwise you have to eat medicine as your food.
The One who loves you will never leave you for another because, even if there are 100 reasons to give up, he or she will find a reason to hold on.
There is a big difference between a human being and being human. Only a few really understand it.
You are loved when you are born. You will be loved when you die. In between, you have to manage!
The six best doctors in the world are – sunlight, rest, exercise, diet, self-confidence and friends.
Maintain them in all stages and enjoy a healthy life!!
I love a glass of Prosecco, laughs, & good conversation.
Sometimes that’s all a girl needs.
I’m an introvert by true nature. Used to feel guilty for it. I recharge in my aloneness, however.
As this fine wine has aged, I find so much peace in being alone. Having a small circle of friends. And I find myself realizing, finally, I am my own best friend.
Being alone used to be a fear for me. I can’t think of a more pressingly painful feeling that cuts deeper than falling into the bottomless pit of loneliness.
Heartbreak is a close second.
My girlfriends & I talked about how as you age you become more comfortable knowing what you want and what you don’t and having no remorse for your feelings, thoughts, needs, & behaviors.
I am so grateful for the shit & numbing I’ve had to wade through to get to this point.
Here is the tricky part about the art of numbing: There is only so long a person can survive off Band-Aids. At some point, you’re going to have to treat the infection — even if it means having to feel the burn when the painkillers start to wear off. The breakdown.
That’s the beauty of the breakdown. When you hit a rock bottom, you’re forced to make a choice. You either die, or you deal with it.
I talked this morning about how the relationship with yourself dictates all of the relationships with everyone else in your life.
In learning to be my own best friend, I found the remedy for loneliness & stillness & mundane. I hope these words can help you.
I encourage you to take the time to get to know yourself. Don’t be afraid to confront all the feels. Don’t apologize for your wants and needs and all the weird shit that makes you, you. Some days even if I really like you I just flat don’t feel like talking to people. And I don’t apologize for that anymore.
No matter how hard or how amazing or how confusing or wonderful or wild life is, you will never be truly alone if you harvest a loving relationship with yourself.
You are the most precious person in the world.
I think I’m funny as hell, I laugh at myself all the time, I have complete conversations with myself.
A while back, someone slid into my DM‘s & commented I had no boobs, no butt, & my eyebrows were too thick…
💁🏼♀️Apparently they drank the Hater-aid.
Years ago I would’ve been crushed. Most likely starved myself for weeks later because it was something I could control. Or tried to find the next work out that would change my body. Maybe different hair color. A bandaid. A drug. A high.
It happens to us all the time. What you have to realize is when people lash out at you like this, that is a reflection of how they view themselves. It really has nothing to do with you.
Love them anyways. Wish them healing.
I posted these beautiful words on my Instagram stories almost a year ago:
“Every day, she falls in love -
She falls in love just a little bit more.
She falls in love just a little bit more, with who she is, and with who she isn’t.
She falls in love just a little bit more, with her flaws, her fears, and her insecurities.
With her smile, her her laugh, her voice, and her body.
With her passions, her goals, her dreams and her future.
Every day, she falls in love -
She falls in love just a little bit more, with exactly who God created her to be -
This unique, intelligent, independent, kind, caring, funny, creative, talented woman with a beautiful mind, a loving heart, and an incredibly deep soul.” @allthings_possible
What we really have is a happiness & lack of self-awareness problem.
It’s not just because you’re overweight or underweight or struggling financially, relationally, or however this relates in your life.
=> you dig. Go deep.
=> you spend time alone. You ache from lonely.
=> you acknowledge. You heal.
=> you empower. Yourself & others.
=> you look in the mirror & see God.
I am grateful for this little body & life of mine. It is strong, resilient, & every wrinkle, scar, cellulite, stretch mark — is the mark of life I lived.
“Freedom is mental clarity combined with inner peace. Freedom is when you can see without projecting and when you can live without causing yourself unnecessary mental tension or stress. It happens every moment you are not craving for more. Happiness and freedom are one.”
@yung_pueblo | A Clear Mind
————————————
I had an 80 year old patient ask me this past week where I pictured my life in a year. She was telling me about her marriage & life when she was my age.
I told her if she had asked me that question even three months ago I probably would’ve had a completely different answer.
The most beautiful thing about life is that no matter what happened in the past you can always begin again.
You can have a change of heart. You can make mistakes & grow. You can endure the hurt from other beings. You can change your mind. You can forgive. You can change your plans of what you thought life was going to look like. You can choose to embody whatever person you wanna be. YOU choose your definition of happiness, love, & freedom.
I thought I was destined to just forever work my fingers to the bone here in Indy. It is where my roots are planted deep. 🌽
And yeah, right now I’m puttin in 50hrs minimum a week. Honestly that’s bullsht — I’m workin more like 60 hours a week.
I love my jobs, however. I have purpose & in the end it gives me financial freedom & peace of mind & so much soul food. They are my gifts & I was given these gifts for a reason so I’m gonna use’em.
But I know I don’t wanna do this forever. I’m not really living life.
Anyone else feel like this too?
I am intentionally grindin right now to get where I want to be because I’m not afraid to make sacrifices & work hard to get what I want.
I have goals I’m working towards & an epic life I’m ready to build.
Let the space between where you are, who you are, & where you wanna be & who you wanna be motivate the fck outta your life.
Fill your time with only people & things that matter.
And LOVE.
Love is always the answer❤️
Like my Mama always told me, let your roots run deep but let your heart have wings 🦋
We gettin deep today y’all. This is something I’ve never completely disclosed. I hope it helps you where you are right now twas a message I was nudged to share today.
So here goes…
Never did the world make a Queen of a girl who hides behind a facade of perfection in a house of guarded walls but an imperfect woman of wisdom in a house of mirrors & glass.
Are you just INTERESTED in being a Queen of high value building your empire or are you COMMITTED to being her?
I had a mentor ask me this.
Holy shit.
Another gut check moment.
You see our beliefs build habits & our habits reinforce those beliefs.
For those of you who are new around here & don’t know my story let me set a quick framework of my past that may resonate close to yours.
I too have been that human:
◽️going through a divorce feeling like failure & confused about identity
◽️car repoed, $40,000 in debt, $5 to your name, basically living out of your office & your car, eating at hotels to save money on food
◽️comparing wanting to be someone else, coveting their life or body thinking that would make me successful & happy
◽️thinking being single means there’s something wrong with me & I needed to settle & find a partner fast to actually be worthy instead of realizing I needed to work on myself & be the person I wanted to be with first
◽️getting involved in relationships, jobs, social plans when I feel resistance & ignoring my intuition, excessive drinking, overspending, giving my body to people who didn’t deserve it
So what did I do?
I visualized & BELIEVED in the things I wanted to manifest. I made a list of the things I would need to do & the person I would need to embody to achieve these things.
The BODY — healing, health, rest, eating ENOUGH, working out because I love my body, vibrancy, food & body freedom, self love
The CAREER — freedom, loving what I do, making an impact, following purpose not a paycheck
The RELATIONSHIP — doing the inner work, believing in my self worth, getting rid of pre-conditions I learned over time, self awareness of my shadows and triggers, being the person I would want to be with
The MINDSET — believing in myself, telling myself I’m a mf Hustler, a survivor, a thriver, I lead with my heart & I deserve everything I desire so I can serve others & myself to the highest degree
I stepped into my worth, I said NO to people, social media, habits, self sabotage more than I said yes to consuming toxicity. I created a routine that helped me be the person I wanted to be in the areas of my life: self, health, wealth, & relationships.
Doesn’t mean I was perfect, but it meant I fully believed in myself enough to grant GRACE & laughter for my humanness (aka when I fugged up 😂), & refuse to put myself on the clearance rack.
THINGS I MANIFESTED DOIN THE WORK:
💫For decades I lived in debt, during this Quarantine I made my last payment & paid off $43,000. Debts paid.
💫My health was shit, my digestion & adrenals a wreck — I finally got my health back & completed my most successful cut this past year.
💫I was basically living out of my office with 5$ in my account, barely having enough money for eggs, to having the apartment I always wanted.
💫I wanted freedom of schedule doing all the things I loved. I now have 4 different jobs in radiology as well as my coaching practice making my own schedule.
💫I wanted travel & to live in 2 different places. I traveled bw IN & MO, making them both home.
💫I’ve had a failed marriage, numerous failed relationships which broke me. I wanted a best friend & partner to live life with, one that is a life story not just a love story, one worthy of growth & future & feels like freedom & home. The Universe gave me a Marine 🇺🇸❤️ @_rottier_
💫 I’ve had car trouble for some time, transmission finally went out on my bug 🚘 I was devastated but knew I deserved better. Recently manifested the car of my dreams.
Meet Ruby 🙂
This has been a huge source of anxiety for me because my car is freedom & my freedom means everything. Which is something I struggle with & I’ll admit to you all. These are tough shadows to talk about & reveal.
It goes back to me being a prisoner in the majority of my abusive relationships in the past. I refuse to rely on other people to take care of me, I’m an overachiever, I don’t like to ask for help, I’m afraid of commitment because of my past experiences & it’s something I’m working on. I am independent & self-sufficient to a fault, causing me to put up a hard shell around my very soft center when fearful or threatened.
Thick skinned you could call it but I realize I come off as cold and heartless when this happens. When I reach a point of emotional exhaustion & frustration in a relationship, & I’ve said it before, I will cut a mf out of my life with no remorse & move on. (Friend, family, or romantic partner) Not proud of it. Again, with self-awareness comes the power of change. I’m working on it.
It affects every facet of my life & is one of my biggest fears.
My biggest fears: feeling insignificant, disrespected, unworthy, a failure, feeling like a prisoner whether it’s financially, relationally, or with my food & body image.
I’ve come to realize I have a problem with authority & I’m not always in the “right” for always doing what I want to do. I have constant discussions with my ego, Kathleen, as I like to call her. 😂
I get stuck in my own head & place so much pressure on myself to achieve & GSD to a degree it affects others & makes them feel inferior &/or insignificant. I apologize to anyone whom I’ve made feel this way through my ignorance.
In support, I told you before about a story where I had a performance review at work & my manager told me I needed to have more patience & empathy for other people‘s weaknesses. That was the first time I became self-aware of this shadow.
Kathleen is my masculine survivor. She is wolf.
Katie is my feminine caretaker. She is woman.
I know I need both of them. Finding the blend is the challenging part of being a human.
So a reminder to my fellow Type A’s, Ima get shit done 4x as fast as you, get out of my fuggin way I can do it better — props to being efficient but please be kind to those who are different than you. Utilize it as a strength to help others become better. Lesson learned.
If you don’t know what your Human Design is, I highly suggest you look into it. It’ll help you understand how you’re wired & how you’re supposed to live this life & manifest more effortlessly.
I also suggest @tobemagnetic Her courses on doing the inner work we all talk about changed my life.
So some Sunday pondering, reflection, life lessons learned the hard way for y’all.
Remember the KING or QUEEN you wanna be.
I’d rather be a woman of imperfections & wisdom living in a transparent glass house than an imposter living within guarded walls. 👑
I’d love to hear your thoughts & comments or if you’ve struggled with similar struggles like me🤗
And if you need someone to talk to & coach you through your own situation, I’d love to listen, link here❤️
I’m really tired of hearing about this quarantine.
I feel the reason people are having a hard time is because they’re forced to sit with their feelings, thoughts, & forced to manage their relationships with one another.
“You learn to love yourself in the context of relationships with others.”
-Ester Perel
I am one who’s love life with herself & others were a complete shit show until I started working on myself. My personal, emotional, & professional life struggled.
I had one failed relationship after another. I wandered around aimlessly from one job to another, not really knowing my place or purpose. Not really understanding why I like juggling so many different things and interests. I felt like there was something wrong with me – UNTIL I researched more about how I was wired, why, who I wanted to be, how I wanted to feel, what kind of partner made me FEEL the way I wanted to in a relationship, and what values & pillars were important to me in life.
Only then did my life start turning around and getting much clearer.
I researched Human Design, my astrology, started following accounts that made me feel good, and started doing the inner work with Lacy Phillips.
Call me woo-woo, call it BS, I DGAF. I respect everyone’s opinions on matters of spirituality & the Universe. All I know is my life is much clearer & #abundantAF
Go your own way 😉
Anywhoodle, back to the main question at hand…
I had a DM today & she asked me how I knew I was with the right person because she was unsure she was in the right relationship. That this quarantine was leaving her questioning things.
I asked her, “Are you looking for a LOVE story? Or a LIFE story?”
She asked what that meant & I explained via life thru my lens & things I learned from Ester— I was always searching for a LOVE story, the knight in shining armor, the perfect relationship, the fantasy — LOVE story. LOVE stories are not LIFE stories. They share different ingredients.
When you’re looking for the right person it’s not about what you’re attracted to it’s about who can you build a LIFE story with.
Things that are important to have in common with your partner:
–Your relationship with others. Do they like community or do they like spending time alone? How do they treat their family? How do they treat other people? Were you/they raised for autonomy or were you/they raised for loyalty & working together as a team? Children?
–Emotional availability & compatibility. Love languages, understanding of these. Outlook & attitude on life.
–Understanding the conditioning of their environment before judging. Why do they do/think/act the way they do? It’s a product of how they were raised in the environment they live in. Can you live with this & evolve together?
“What about expectations?” she asked.
The moment you have an expectation you create dependence. That dependence means you or they have power.
You create a condition that can be broken resulting in disappointment. Have you communicated this expectation with them?
The answer is what do you do with that power?
How do you use it? How do they respond to it?
Do you/they get defensive or do you/they try to understand & ask questions. That’s how you deal with struggles. You repair via communication & healing.
If communication & trust aren’t there, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in — it will never thrive!
Show the other they still matter.
Get them their favorite book, drink, give them a hug, LISTEN, let them speak, give them their space.
Self-awareness, trust, appreciation, & accountability are true freedom & home.
Successful, thriving relationships have a high degree of appreciation.
Negative, failing relationships highlight the negative.
This not only applies at home this also applies out in society & with yourself.
If someone asked me what are 3 pieces of advice to keep in your front pocket today they would be:
1.) The quality of your relationships determine the quality of your life.
A.k.a. make sure you have a rich life.
Don’t be a dick, follow the Golden rule.
2.) Invest in your relationships
No one has ever died hoping they had worked more.
Make it your purpose that when people think of you they smile. That’s your legacy you leave in the hearts & minds of others.
3.) If you have a dream, a person, a ping that has been in your heart & your mind — do it, follow it.
