Tag: Love Advice

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Love and Life Lessons That Will Make You Laugh

I said, “Well I’m pretty easy to please, don’t tell me what to do, make me laugh, just give me a bowl of meat & I’m happy.” 😂

My gf & I FaceTimed. She said, “I must be too picky, wth is wrong with me.”

I said, “Bxtch you’re askin the girl who’s longest successful relationship has been with a cat named Pete 🐈‍⬛.”  

Laughter is the best medicine😭

Some things I have learned in 38yrs…

✅You can’t send 2 questions to a man in the same msg or next msg before getting a reply to the 1st one. You’ll only get a reply to 1.

✅Stop being the person with a long list of expectations. Just enjoy the experience. If you feel in your gut they’re not someone you vibe with, you don’t owe them a long explanation. Be honest & strong, cut toxicity out of your life. Remember your list of values. 

✅You spend the majority of your day rubbing a piece of glass 🤳🏻 Love life fiercely that’s all that matters.  Not just the highlight reels. You don’t NEED someone to complete you. No one says you have to be married to be happy.

✅Grocery stores should put carts in the middle where my pride realizes I have too much shxt to carry. Dunno, maybe that’s just me🙃 #ThisIsWhyWeCrossFit 

✅Stop thinkin “Nah, they wouldn’t do me like that.” Cause mfs will definitely do you like that. Choose your circle wisely. 

✅Love someone enough their happiness is your happiness. Love them enough to know when you have to let them go. What’s meant for you will never miss you. Take risks.

✅When I was young I wanted  2 kids, a picket fence, & married by 21….lets all laugh together. 😂 Live your own timeline. 

✅Part of me wants to be an independent woman who makes a shxt ton of money & the other part wants to be a trophy wife with new boobs & the most difficult decision of my day being what cocktail I wanna drink. Your wants & needs will change. Let them.😄

✅Beware of cocktails that taste like juice, before you know you it, you’ll have to pick up your dignity down the street. Treat your body like a trash can & you become the trash can. 

✅It’s ok to go thru this phase called “fxck everything.” Do your squats & know your worth. People wanna be around people who bring the joy. Feel the feels but find the sunshine ☀️

Happy Saturday loves, go LAUGH🤍

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How to Love Yourself AND Love the People in Your Life

This morning I read a post by @the.holistic.psychologist that said, “Not everyone wants to get better + & that’s ok. Some people have an identity tied to sickness. Others fear true wellness because it is the unknown + the unknown is unpredictable.”

Ooof. Felt that one in my soul. How about you?

A quote I live by, “At the end of our life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” – Jack Kornfield

Maaaaaaaan have I loved 😆 

Have I always loved well, however? No.

I’ve worked in healthcare for 16 years, a health coach for 6, had I can’t even count how many “failed” (I put this in quotes because it’s only a failure if you failed to learn the lessons 😉) romantic relationships & fizzed out friendships where this statement was applicable at some point.

A big lesson I learned, you can’t fully support &/or love a person for where you want them to be — you have to meet them where they are now.

No matter what type of relationship we’re talkin about. You can’t discount yourself based upon someone else’s potential. You only have the experience right now.

I don’t care if you’re a coach, doctor, married, divorced, partnered, a friend or family relationship — you can’t wish someone well, they HAVE to do the work & want to do/get better. 

I brain dumped.

What can I teach you guys today that I wished I had known decades ago? And I’m still learning right along with y’all…

Here goes…

How to Love Yourself AND Love the People in Your Life:

1.) Always be honest no matter how bad it hurts.

2.) The true mark of expansion, self love, peace, & evolvement is recognizing someone else’s happiness is your happiness even if that means making a hard decision & lovingly letting them go.

3.) Tell people how brilliant & able they are. Sometimes they don’t see it for themselves. Kindness is always cool. Remember the Golden Rule✨

4.) It is possible to love someone but not be in love with them. You determine what kind of relationship you want, be HONEST.

5.) Be authentic. Give others the gift of the real you & a real relationship. Don’t people please + change yourself for any kind of relationship. It will always come back & bite you in the a$$.

6.) Listen more than you talk. People want to be seen, heard, loved, supported, & appreciated. And remember, the most interesting person in the room is the person who is the most interested. Ask questions.

7.) Be giving, but never sacrifice or compromise your integrity or authenticity. Boundaries change lives for the better. Strengthen yours.

8.) Always live by your values. Thoughts become things. What you focus on, you attract. Your habits & people you surround yourself make you. Choose wisely. 

I’ve been re-reading the book, The Vortex. Incredible life changing gems in this one. I’ll highlight a few:

— You can get to where you want to be from where ever you are — but you must stop spending so much time noticing & talking about what you do not like about where you are. 

— Be a more selective sifter, and make a list of the positive things you are living & the qualities of people you love to surround yourself with. 

— Look forward to where you want to be & spend no time complaining about where you are. The responsive Universe makes no distinction between the thoughts you think about your current reality & what you think as you dream of your improved life. You are creating by virtue of what you are thinking about.

— Your sense of who you really are pulses so powerfully within you that you must always continue to reach for satisfying relationships, because you understand, at very deep levels, the potential for joy contained in relationships with others. 

— Once you decide that your happiness depends on the intentions, beliefs, or behaviors of no other, but only upon your own alignment — over which you have complete control — then your relationships will not only no longer be uncomfortable, but they will be deeply satisfying. 

Now, put these gems 💎 in your front pocket & go out & LOVE somebody today, especially YOURSELF!

Oxox Coach K

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The Best Love Advice No One Told You

Heart wrenching conversation with a client yesterday I’m certain all of us have encountered & then realized how interconnected emotions & outcomes are.

She told me, she knows he doesn’t love her for her, but she keeps holding on which is affecting her weight & basically everything else in her life.

So I started off with this: Our job on this earth is not to have to sell or transform ourselves to earn someone’s love. It’s just to simply be loved for exactly who we are & we are to do the same.

Relationships & your worth are determined by your own definition, not society’s definition or timelines you think you need to be living.

I’ve said this before, I fully stand by it, people can choose to evolve with you or without you in any kind of relationship, romantic or platonic.

The people you surround yourself with,  make you. They are a reflection of your values & integrity.

It’s OK to grow out of relationships. It’s OK if those people choose to part. It takes a BIG, evolved person to lovingly release someone you care deeply for.

You can’t build a relationship with a person you love for who you want them to be. 

Honor your individuality. 

Don’t be afraid to take chances on experiences if they feel right, don’t hoard shame if they didn’t work out the way you thought. 

Be proud of yourself for choosing love, especially love for yourself. It’s the only relationship you’re going to have forever. If you’re not happy, you’re not going to make anyone else happy. The negative energy you put out if you don’t feel aligned will only further grow & bring more negative.

It’s pretty simple really. Give love away like there are no conditions attached, and this goes for letting it go too. By doing this we enable the alignment & flow that is supposed to happen in this life experience.

You can begin creating the life, body, & love you desire right now, even if you don’t have the pieces in place you think you need in order to start. 

All it takes is acceptance, intention, effort, & LOVE.

Love & Hugs 🤗❤️ oxoxo

Feature Photo: @matteuccij13 @lensandlightphoto

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31 Powerful Affirmations For Every Area Of Your Life

Snowpocalypse ❄️ 2021 #indianaproblems

Many of you are stuck inside. Which means we’re snuggled up to our emotions. Yikes right?!

If that’s you, here are:

31 Powerful Affirmations For Every Area Of Your Life 

— medium.com  (fav!)

You can book mark these for later on Instagram here: https://www.instagram.com/p/CLWreaPj_Bv/?igshid=1aeddpziw8f1n


Money

  1. Money comes to me easily and effortlessly.
  2. I constantly attract opportunities that create more money.
  3. I am worthy of making more money.
  4. I am open and receptive to all the wealth life offers me.
  5. My actions create constant prosperity.
  6. Money and spirituality can co-exist in harmony.

Love & Relationships

7. I am full of positive loving energy.

8. I welcome love and romance into my life.

9. I am in a loving and supportive relationship.

10. I deserve love and I get it in abundance.

11. I am loved, loving and lovable.

12. I am blessed with an incredible family and wonderful friends.

13. I give out love and it is returned to me multiplied manyfold.

Self

14. I forgive myself and set myself free.

15. I believe I can be all that I want to be.

16. I am in the process of becoming the best version of myself.

17. I have the freedom & power to create the life I desire.

18. I choose to be kind to myself and love myself unconditionally.

19. My possibilities are endless.

20. I am worthy of my dreams.

21. I am enough.

Health

22. I deserve to be healthy and feel good.

23. I am full of energy and vitality and my mind is calm and peaceful.

24. Every day I am getting healthier and stronger.

25. I honor my body by trusting the signals that it sends me.

26. I manifest perfect health by making smart choices.

Happiness

27. I am grateful to be alive. It is my joy and pleasure to live another wonderful day.

28. Happiness is my birthright. I choose to be happy and I deserve to be happy.

29. Being happy comes easy to me. Happiness is my second nature.

30. Good things are happening.

31. I am deeply fulfilled by what I do.

Oxox Be safe! Coach K

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You can survive too

I have no idea what kind of influence I actually have on people.

I have the tendency to just go about my life, hustlin, trying to be a good human. Tryin to be true to myself, basically spewing my heart & emotions on this thing called the gram. 

It’s been really good for me. Therapeutic. Emotionally cleansing.

Like life, it has a dark side too. It can be very energetically heavy trying to be a light & lending ear to so many.

My tendency to live & do & say things unaware of how it really influences other people has its drawbacks too.

My independence alienates people unintentionally.

I don’t typically do things to be hurtful or malicious but they can come off that way. 

Reason — I’m really shitty at communication. I don’t realize other people can’t read my mind or energy like I can read others.

I’m working on it. 

I’m aware of it now so I don’t have any excuses for myself.

I really don’t know how I’ve affected other people’s decisions, how they feel about themselves, or their perceptions of things.

I do know I want to be the realist, most positive force I can be. I’m grateful y’all allow me to let you know you’re not alone & allow me to put my life, my emotions, my experiences & lessons into words.

Know you can survive anything.

I’ve gotten my heart broken numerous times. I’ve broken hearts too.

I’m currently missing my best friend @_rottier_ like you wouldn’t believe. Japan is not 6 hrs away.

I pulled up my GPS today to take an alternate route to work & it still pulls up his Missouri address first. 

Made me wanna cry & I was instantly pissed off at myself. I don’t like being weak. And I thought, “You ain’t got time for this shit, Katie, pull it together. Talk about whiskey glasses, @morganwallen , I’d like a few right now🥃.”

I’ve failed tests in school, I even got suspended in Xray school. 🤷🏼‍♀️  That authority thing has always been a struggle. 😆 

My worst grade in high school was an 86% in Algebra & I thought my overachieving ass was gonna die.  I obviously didn’t. And that doesn’t mean shit now.

I’ve been rejected from jobs I thought I wanted only for the right ones to come along later. Ive had hard times with family only to laugh about it later. 

I’ve had friends disappoint me, men leave me, hell I’ve abused myself with all the addictions — it was never one thing: disordered eating, over exercising, drinking too much, settling, sabotaging myself, surrounding myself with a hard shell, wishing I could eat like a “normal” person without crohns & special needs.

I did it once, twice, again & again. 

And you can too. ❤️

Love y’all

Xoxo

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It’s not always butterfly’s…

She said, “I feel like I’ve lost the spark in my relationship. I dunno whether to stay, go, change myself or him. Maybe there’s a better one out there.”

I asked her, “Well how do you want to feel in your relationship?” — She didn’t know.

How bout we start there. 

And I’ll ask y’all something my momma asked me recently, “Who do you want beside you on the beach when you’re old?”

I refer back to one of fav quotes, “Fall in love with someone who is both your safe place & your biggest adventure. — Bianca Sparacino

There is nothing about butterfly’s in that quote. And nothing about perfection. 

Because let me tell ya, in 38 years I’ve never once met a perfect man or a perfect ME.

I’ve had a hard time letting people love me. 

I had a bad habit of pushing away healthy, stable love. And if I felt I was going to be hurt, or things got really fucked up & hard, I’d emotionally distance & end things before I could get to that point of being the one that was hurt.

I’ve learned letting someone love you doesn’t mean you’re weak, it means you’re deciding you deserve to be loved.

To the recovering calloused avoidant like myself, it’s hard. It feels icky sometimes & requires a shit ton of courage & vulnerability I can’t even find the words for.

My idea of love has changed as I’ve aged. I used to view it as a noun, now knowing it’s a verb. 

It’s something you choose, & it takes conscious effort & work. It’s not magic fairy dust & an endless buffet of tacos & tequila (but that’s would be nice 😆🖐🏻🌮🍹sign me up btw)

A hard lesson I’ve learned recently is bad timing doesn’t always mean you stop trying.

And things you nitpick may just be your ego talkin. Just because a day, a month, or a year doesn’t seem to align right now, doesn’t mean you set the whole damn thing on fire & watch it burn. 

Maybe you just need slow down, adjust your sails & wait until things are maybe a lil slightly less fucked up. 🤷🏼‍♀️ 

Jus sayin.

So I’ll be patient & wait…

…for that endless buffet of tacos & tequila

…with a splash of @morganwallen

…and my best friend by my side. ✌🏻🏝 

Photo: @matteuccij13 @lensandlightphoto

Xoxo

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Sobremesa & Sweet Presence

S O B R E M E S A 

[noun] • Spanish

(n.) the time after a meal spent around the table with loved ones; a time to digest food, love, & friendship.

I was reading about the Spanish tradition where people sit at the table after a meal, talk, & connect with friends & loved ones.

Sweet presence — that’s what it is.

And I thought to myself, how did we lose this in our lives?

The savor of the truly important things in life?

—> the feel of sunlight on your skin

—> long, lingering hugs & the smell of fresh flowers 

—>  the taste of a home cooked meal with family

—>  laughing with friends & meaningful conversations

—> the ability to simply move your body, health

—> peaceful sleep, clean sheets, the taste of fresh coffee

—> the feeling of the first time someone looked at you & told you they loved you

—> knowing you have the entire day to sit in your pjs & the freedom to do absolutely nothing

As basically the entire world has been forced to stay home due to the recent pandemic, I feel we’ve discovered we’ve lost our gift of presence through constant numbing & hustle. 

I thought this was fitting to serve as a reminder both to ourselves whether we’re working or home or everything in between — the people you come home to…

family

friends

friends that become family

those you can’t wait to get on the phone with

those you connect with via social media 

the simple feelings & emotions we experience in our everyday “mundane”…

These are the things that truly matter & we mustn’t forget when we’re feeling lost. 

For me, I’d be more interested to learn from 80 people in their 80’s who were totally lost in their 20’s & 30’s that figured out what was truly more meaningful in life than 80 people in their 20’s & 30’s that figured it out early & never got lost. 

It’s in the lost where we discover truth & ourselves again. 💟

Xoxo Coach K 

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Quarantine & Finding “The One”

I’m really tired of hearing about this quarantine.

I feel the reason people are having a hard time is because they’re forced to sit with their feelings, thoughts, & forced to manage their relationships with one another.

AND examine the one they have with themselves.

I listened to a podcast I shared this morning on my Instagram stories about relationships. Lewis Howes & Ester Perel – phenomenal!

“You learn to love yourself in the context of relationships with others.”

-Ester Perel

I am one who’s love life with herself & others were a complete shit show until I started working on myself. My personal, emotional, & professional life struggled.

I had one failed relationship after another. I wandered around aimlessly from one job to another, not really knowing my place or purpose. Not really understanding why I like juggling so many different things and interests. I felt like there was something wrong with me – UNTIL I researched more about how I was wired, why, who I wanted to be, how I wanted to feel, what kind of partner made me FEEL the way I wanted to in a relationship, and what values & pillars were important to me in life.

Only then did my life start turning around and getting much clearer.

I researched Human Design, my astrology, started following accounts that made me feel good, and started doing the inner work with Lacy Phillips.

Call me woo-woo, call it BS, I DGAF. I respect everyone’s opinions on matters of spirituality & the Universe. All I know is my life is much clearer & #abundantAF

Go your own way 😉

Anywhoodle, back to the main question at hand…

I had a DM today & she asked me how I knew I was with the right person because she was unsure she was in the right relationship. That this quarantine was leaving her questioning things.

I asked her, “Are you looking for a LOVE story? Or a LIFE story?”

She asked what that meant & I explained via life thru my lens & things I learned from Ester— I was always searching for a LOVE story, the knight in shining armor, the perfect relationship, the fantasy — LOVE story. LOVE stories are not LIFE stories. They share different ingredients.

When you’re looking for the right person it’s not about what you’re attracted to it’s about who can you build a LIFE story with.

Things that are important to have in common with your partner:

–Your relationship with others. Do they like community or do they like spending time alone? How do they treat their family? How do they treat other people? Were you/they raised for autonomy or were you/they raised for loyalty & working together as a team? Children?

–Emotional availability & compatibility. Love languages, understanding of these. Outlook & attitude on life.

–Understanding the conditioning of their environment before judging. Why do they do/think/act the way they do? It’s a product of how they were raised in the environment they live in. Can you live with this & evolve together?

“What about expectations?” she asked.

The moment you have an expectation you create dependence. That dependence means you or they have power.

You create a condition that can be broken resulting in disappointment. Have you communicated this expectation with them?

The answer is what do you do with that power?

How do you use it? How do they respond to it?

Do you/they get defensive or do you/they try to understand & ask questions. That’s how you deal with struggles. You repair via communication & healing.

If communication & trust aren’t there, no matter what kind of relationship you’re in — it will never thrive!

Show the other they still matter.

Get them their favorite book, drink, give them a hug, LISTEN, let them speak, give them their space.

Self-awareness, trust, appreciation, & accountability are true freedom & home.

Successful, thriving relationships have a high degree of appreciation.

Negative, failing relationships highlight the negative.

This not only applies at home this also applies out in society & with yourself.

If someone asked me what are 3 pieces of advice to keep in your front pocket today they would be:

1.) The quality of your relationships determine the quality of your life.

A.k.a. make sure you have a rich life.

Don’t be a dick, follow the Golden rule.

2.) Invest in your relationships

No one has ever died hoping they had worked more.

Make it your purpose that when people think of you they smile. That’s your legacy you leave in the hearts & minds of others.

3.) If you have a dream, a person, a ping that has been in your heart & your mind — do it, follow it.

There are no failures only experiences.

Blessings & love to y’all <3

— Xoxo Coach K