Tag: Therapy

I’ve never been good at asking for help. Not in school, not from friends, not from the doctor, therapy, not from mom & dad, not from anyone really.

Always had that “figure this shxt out for yourself” mindset.

I know now this stemmed from fear of being judged – fear of being wrong, fear of being viewed as weak & stupid & not being able enough to take care of myself.

In my 1st marriage, I was not the breadwinner. I depended on him for numerous things. To put a roof over my head. More expensive items & investments. Paying for vacations & when we went out to eat.
And he provided, which I’m grateful. He’s a good man & I wish him the best to this day.

I didn’t have a lot of money. I was in debt. Still a hard worker but could just never get my head above water. I felt like a prisoner & hopeless & weak. I should’ve left years before I did for the both of us to thrive.

This fear of having to rely on someone else grew throughout my following relationships. I was the breadwinner for the majority of them. Fear of commitment & dependency turned me into the stereotypical emotionally & relationally avoidant.
You could imagine the pain of having to say I was a “dependent” when I married a US Marine.
Omg the sting.

Growing up on a farm you’re raised to be strong, productive, resislient, & self-sufficient. There wasn’t always someone there to help you. You had to learn to figure things out for yourself.

Which I guess is why I do well in radiology, too. We have to think on our feet, outside of the box. We often times work alone, we have to move patients by ourselves, we have to learn to get images & diagnostic exams done for your doctors with as much precision as possible so we can help save peoples lives.

We are the eyes of your physicians. If we don’t do an exam correctly & efficiently, a diagnosis could be missed or misdiagnosed which changes the trajectory of your life. If we inject the wrong contrast or don’t follow proper protocol, we can kill you.

Talk about pressure right?! 

 We’re not just monkey button pushers. 

Xray school just exacerbated my issues with not asking for help. Stubborn. As. Hxll. I hated every moment of Xray school. You feel like you’re under constant scrutiny & criticism. It’s true, survival of the fittest & only the strongest survive 

One of my favorite mentors, Dr. Stephen Cabral, sent an email yesterday about this very topic.
Him & his team helped me heal from SIBO & a bacterial overgrowth years ago. I learned much from them about proper functional nutrition.

This really hit home for me too…
You can apply it to any area of your life.

“If you encounter a forest & you know on the other side are your hopes & dreams, you’d want to get through the woods as fast as you can…

But most of us struggle, forever hacking through the bushes & branches, changing directions, getting lost, & wasting time…

While all along if we had just stopped before making the treacherous journey on our own & found a local guide that had traversed this forest thousands of times, that person could simply show us the paths they’ve cleared over the years.”

I don’t know if I needed to hear this, or someone else out there too, but it hit me like a ton of bricks.

I know I’m not the only one out there that has been conditioned to believe “figuring it out for yourself” is some badge of honor. Like I used to think not eating & beating the 

 out of my body was too.

I’ve learned I NEED to ask for help & it’s ok. That’s what we’re here for to help support, learn, & grow together, united.

It doesn’t mean you’re weak, stupid, or incompetent. It means you’re smart because no one knows everything & you should never be the smartest one in the room or you’re in the wrong room.

This is the fastest & most guaranteed path to success. On every level: health, weight, relationships, career, finances, spirituality.

If I can ever help in anyway, I am honored to be your guide. This was way longer than I expected but obviously a message that needed to get out there.

Wish you all the best Monday & start to your week!

Oxox Coach K

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