Well, the love story would be one of perpetually going through breakups. Breakups with friends, men, partners, jobs, family. Even those who I “thought was THE one.”
— I really believed this.
Some partners, I just didn’t feel good when we were together. I would feel anxious when I was around them, even if it was long distance. You know the ones where they may be on their way to see you, & where you should feel elated, would literally feel sick to your stomach. (Maybe that was just me😳🫣🤔)
And after a while, I decided, okay, this is f*cked up & NOT working. I have to do something else.
And I did.
I did a LOT of work around getting myself into the right place holistically for real relationships, including the most important, the one with myself.
When The “Love Of Your Life” Lets You Go.
Ooof 🤢
Yup.
Been there, too.
Makes you instantly wanna throw up, cry, scream, maybe down gallons of ice cream or bourbon. Pick your numbing mechanism.
Took me decades to realize there is no “One” or single “Love of your life.” And rejection doesn’t mean you aren’t good enough, sometimes it’s misalignment. Sometimes it means the other person was blind to notice the amazingness you have to offer. And it always means, there’s something better.
Life happens FOR you, not TO you.
I got to the depths of why I was having some of these complications in my relationships through a lot of solitude & inner work well into my 40’s.
One epiphanous day, something I asked myself was, “Why do you want a relationship?”
What is the purpose of being in a relationship? And I had never really thought about that before. It was always like, oh, because it’s just what you do.🤷🏼♀️
Like it feels nice, whatever. And what I realized when I really thought about it was that my life is beautiful & I have intentionally designed it & it’s delicious. But I believe that my self discovery & my life cannot be as exceptional when it’s just me. And in order for a life to be exceptional, I believe you need other people in it. Friends, family, partners, strangers, creative collaborators & Lovers.
I think that’s important. And so once I got to that place of being like, “THIS is why I want this!” I felt like I was in a completely different place to approach love & relationships.
😉 To be continued…
Oxox Coach K
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