This morning I read a post by @the.holistic.psychologist that said, “Not everyone wants to get better + & that’s ok. Some people have an identity tied to sickness. Others fear true wellness because it is the unknown + the unknown is unpredictable.”
Ooof. Felt that one in my soul. How about you?
A quote I live by, “At the end of our life, our questions are very simple: Did I live fully? Did I love well?” – Jack Kornfield
Maaaaaaaan have I loved 😆
Have I always loved well, however? No.
I’ve worked in healthcare for 16 years, a health coach for 6, had I can’t even count how many “failed” (I put this in quotes because it’s only a failure if you failed to learn the lessons 😉) romantic relationships & fizzed out friendships where this statement was applicable at some point.
A big lesson I learned, you can’t fully support &/or love a person for where you want them to be — you have to meet them where they are now.
No matter what type of relationship we’re talkin about. You can’t discount yourself based upon someone else’s potential. You only have the experience right now.
I don’t care if you’re a coach, doctor, married, divorced, partnered, a friend or family relationship — you can’t wish someone well, they HAVE to do the work & want to do/get better.
I brain dumped.
What can I teach you guys today that I wished I had known decades ago? And I’m still learning right along with y’all…
Here goes…
How to Love Yourself AND Love the People in Your Life:
1.) Always be honest no matter how bad it hurts.
2.) The true mark of expansion, self love, peace, & evolvement is recognizing someone else’s happiness is your happiness even if that means making a hard decision & lovingly letting them go.
3.) Tell people how brilliant & able they are. Sometimes they don’t see it for themselves. Kindness is always cool. Remember the Golden Rule✨
4.) It is possible to love someone but not be in love with them. You determine what kind of relationship you want, be HONEST.
5.) Be authentic. Give others the gift of the real you & a real relationship. Don’t people please + change yourself for any kind of relationship. It will always come back & bite you in the a$$.
6.) Listen more than you talk. People want to be seen, heard, loved, supported, & appreciated. And remember, the most interesting person in the room is the person who is the most interested. Ask questions.
7.) Be giving, but never sacrifice or compromise your integrity or authenticity. Boundaries change lives for the better. Strengthen yours.
8.) Always live by your values. Thoughts become things. What you focus on, you attract. Your habits & people you surround yourself make you. Choose wisely.
I’ve been re-reading the book, The Vortex. Incredible life changing gems in this one. I’ll highlight a few:
— You can get to where you want to be from where ever you are — but you must stop spending so much time noticing & talking about what you do not like about where you are.
— Be a more selective sifter, and make a list of the positive things you are living & the qualities of people you love to surround yourself with.
— Look forward to where you want to be & spend no time complaining about where you are. The responsive Universe makes no distinction between the thoughts you think about your current reality & what you think as you dream of your improved life. You are creating by virtue of what you are thinking about.
— Your sense of who you really are pulses so powerfully within you that you must always continue to reach for satisfying relationships, because you understand, at very deep levels, the potential for joy contained in relationships with others.
— Once you decide that your happiness depends on the intentions, beliefs, or behaviors of no other, but only upon your own alignment — over which you have complete control — then your relationships will not only no longer be uncomfortable, but they will be deeply satisfying.
Now, put these gems 💎 in your front pocket & go out & LOVE somebody today, especially YOURSELF!
Oxox Coach K