WTF is considered middle-aged anyways nowadays? I remember when I thought 30 was old?!
I have a big birthday coming up, the BIG 4-0! For many, this is a death sentence. It’s all downhill from here…
…like you magically turn the page, become less attractive, less desirable, boring – kind of like an old penny you find on the ground.
But for me, I feel a sense of pride & appreciation for my body & my life at this point. Every wrinkle, scar, sun spot, stretch mark & dimple of cellulite, baby. Let’s throw a couple divorces in there, too. LOL.
(I did LOL)
They all tell my story.
Did you know my friends used to call me “Momma Cougar” after my FIRST divorce?
–those are stories for another day (& another drink).
What can I say?! I’ve historically been attracted to younger men. My last husband, yes, SECOND divorce, was 10 years younger than me.
Amazing man, really, I did pick a good one. No need to end things on bad terms. Remember that thing I preach? Learn to let people go with a loving heart. Your life will be more peaceful that way, I promise.
Other things that will make your life more peaceful: treat your body & mind like a temple, ladies.
Eat well, lift weights, be happy, do sh*t you love, don’t wait on anyone or anything, always remember your worth, & remind yourself you ain’t got time to teach, try to change someone, shrink to their level, or be someone’s mom.
I call myself “Vintage.”
Vin·tage /ˈvin(t)ij/
of old, recognized, and enduring interest, importance, or quality : CLASSIC
Does my life look different than I thought it would at 20? Hell to the mf, YES!
I thought I’d be happily married, 2 kids, a dog, white picket fence, workin a 9-5 M-F, still doin Jazzercise at church. When in reality, I happily live alone in an apartment with my cat, Pete. I’m divorced, kidless, have more hats on my coat rack when it comes to jobs than you can shake a stick at.
Unapologetically living life in hair extensions & lashes somewhere between scrubs & leggins. I’m clothed in purpose, smashing #meatbars with my 2 boyfriends, Al & Abe (my airfryers) on the daily.
I love every minute of it & I laugh.
I laugh because life is funny. You think you can control every outcome with precision as long as you do everything PERFECT. As long as you make all the “right” choices, it’ll go as planned. Doesn’t matter if it’s with love, money, or your body. It applies across the board. Just roll with it.
Thing is, I’ve aged, but I’m not aged. I think and feel and breathe like I always have. I’ve grown wiser, but not stupid. There’s still a ton of dreams that will be realized, adventures to be had, and a life to be lived.
I hope you feel that way, too.
My advice?
Keep going. Be your best YOU. Take every day as a blessing. Tomorrow is not promised. The best is yet to be, even if today is in shambles.
Yesterday is a bridge to nowhere, but tomorrow is a bridge to everywhere.
Carpe Diem!
I’ll leave you with some life lessons because, well, that’s how I roll.
No aesthetic #glowup & extensions can overshadow the lessons you’ll learn with life. I hope these spark a thought-provoking flame for your own reflection.
Unapologetically Be Yourself
I too feel the word “authentic” gets thrown around & over used nowadays, but it still doesn’t discredit its truth & power. I’ve learned no one can be me & it takes way too damn much energy to try & be someone else. What happens is you lose yourself & attract the wrong kinds of people in your life.
Success is Not Defined by Numbers, Titles, Productivity, & Achievement
I am worthy simply because I exist. Not because of my weight, the titles before or after my name, how many hours I’ve worked, my relationship status, or numbers of likes or followers. Success is defined by me, happiness is defined by me, relationships are defined by me, Joy is defined by me & I create my reality.
Love Shows Up For You Every Day
Love shows up every single day if you let it y’all. Let go. It may not be in the exact form, person, or way that you think but it’s always there. Let the Universe take care of the how, why, & when. You just gotta roll with it & have fun on the journey to whatever it is that you want. Pay attention to the signs & pings that you’re drawn to, like places you’re drawn to, food you love, jobs, workouts & gyms that call to you, people that always show up in your life or your mind. Those are signs.
Take Time for You & Realize There’s A Big Difference Between Alone & Being Lonely
Remember when being alone was boring & scary af & you thought that made you a loser? My alone time now is like Church & something I’ve come to cherish. I have to have it to refresh. Taking time for myself is vital to all my relationships. You can’t serve anyone with an empty cup.
Just Do It
I’ve most definitely learned that magical things come from working outside of one’s comfort zone. I admit I LOATHE being a beginner. I wanna be a master of everything like right now. Starting new jobs are extremely hard but I know as soon as I find my groove I rock whatever is thrown my way. Fear of failing, fear of embarrassing myself, fear of exposing myself stifled me for decades. Now, it might take me some time to pursue something, I may have to figure some sh*t out first, but I will never have a dream I don’t follow because I don’t believe in myself.
Be Present, Speak Up, Gratitude, Always
Being present – really fckin hard for me too. I miss out on the beauty of the now when I don’t slow down tho. Take time to pause. Literally tell myself this numerous times a day. Speaking up & standing strong in my beliefs also plagued this recovered people pleasing crowd follower back in the day. You just end up a watered down version of yourself. Gratitude is always the answer, like walk. If in doubt, walk, you’ll hear me say. Every single day is a blessing & I don’t dare take that for granted. In the last 10 years, I’ve witnessed how precious life & health are. I look for little ways to celebrate everything, I wake up & say thank you to the Universe & God every morning. I tell my plants, appliances, & my cat Pete I love them. I know, I know…I’m a special kind of weird. I make a point of reflecting on the people & things I’m grateful for…and THIS my friends, all of THIS in its collective has made all the difference.
Cheers to defining your own life . Here’s to many more years of awesomesauceness! (Yup made that up)
“Glow Up” on your own terms!
oxox Coach K
